Muslim College Life: Dating, Drinking and Deen???

Freedom

Young people live for the day when they can move out of the house and go to college and finally be free. Freedom from their parents, from restrictions on their lifestyle, from everyone telling them what to do.
This is why in college you find a whole generation that does what they want. Life's short they say, let's enjoy ourselves while we can.
So it goes for Muslims. In college you find the most amazing things, Muslims who don't pray, Muslims who date , go out to parties and drink.

Why is this happening?For one, when students go off to university they finally realize that what they believed in was blind. Religion becomes like a fairytale, when they got old enough, they knew better than to believe in it.
Most have little knowledge about Islam and have maybe memorized the right rituals to get by. Why believe something on faith, they ask. After all we cannot see heaven or hell.  How do we know Islam is right anyway?
Islamic culture to them means marrying someone they never knew. It means arranged marriages and never hanging out or having fun.
For girls Islamic culture has even less to offer. It would mean double standards or having to serve a husband the rest of her life.
The western alternative to this looks alot more attractive.
In western culture " love and romance" are supposedly everywhere. Everyone is out looking for love freely. Meeting someone, going out, seeking pleasure sounds alot better.
But what about the downside? For love at first sight, you need to have the right image, the right hair, the right clothes.
Girls have to aspire to be like the latest supermodels, they have to hold back age. Who's going out with who, what are my friends thinking, what will happen if I don't get the right girl or guy, what is my girlfriend or boyfriend thinking, all become important.
Frustration, desperation, and unhappiness become the norm.
Imagine all the heartache youth would save if they followed the Islamic alternative.
In true Islam, unlike culture, there is no game playing. If two people wish to be involved they are both straight with one another.
Unlike what goes on today amongst some Muslims, they both meet each other and make a contract to marry. Women are treated with respect, there is no sexual bombardment like there is in western society. Sex in western culture is also often seen as a vice or a sin of the flesh. But even in religious Islam, sex is seen as natural. As long as it is in the right circumstances, when the two are committed to one another in marriage.
Drinking in college is also the norm unfortunately. If you don't drink or party you're seen as weird. Drinking is cool and a way for people to socialize, meet and have fun. The one who doesn't is less of a person and 'misses out'. Drinking and all the harms that come with it is cut off at the root in Islam. So many problems are avoided, accidents, pregnancy, violence and even rape for example.
In college and in the world, success in life is not seen in terms of religion. It is seen as what other people think, one's careers, how much money they make. If you are religious you must have failed at life. But why do we have this seperation? and this blindness in religion?
The Quran tells us again and again not to have blind faith, not to follow the religion of our forefathers.
Yet, we as Muslims have stopped thinking. We may think about what our friends or other people will say, but we avoid thinking about the real issues.
We spend so much time on the opposite sex, thinking about careers, money etc, but we forget to think about death and how much of this we will really be able to take with us?

"Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense...for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception"
(Quran 3:185)

Shouldn't we take the time to contemplate what will happen to us after we hit the grave? After all, what is the point of life if we are not accountable for our actions? If there is no creator, what is the point of being honest or good.
If we really look at our life we see that everything is indefinate, getting a job, even living until tomorrow. In fact we could die anytime, this is a definate, the _only_ dead certain thing in our life.
Most of us believe we can make up for our actions later or we can be religious later. We are gambling.
The chances of our dying today are little, but the stakes are high. Allah reminds us of the importance of this,

"O you who believe, obey Allah as he should be obeyed, and die not except in a state of Islam" (Qu'ran 3:102)

Each of us needs to decide.
On the Day of Judgment it will be us alone who will be asked about our actions.

"Verily We have revealed the Book to thee in truth, for (instructing) mankind. He, then that receives guidance benefits his own soul: but he that strays injurs his own soul..."
(Quran 39:41)

This is the true definition of freedom. To learn about Islam and the world openly. To contemplate about life and death. And after learning the truth, obeying the word of God.

"Those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Quran) is the truth from your Lord, and that they believe therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open)to it..."
(Quran 22:54)

Once students have this rock-solid intellectual belief in Islam, the corruptness and falseness of the people around them is clear. The beauty and wisdom of the islamic way, the best alternative is clear. What others do is of less importance. If others think they were weird to pray or weird to be honest, they would still pray and still be honest because they know their deen.
Our Quran's are left on the top shelves, gathering dust. Sometimes the most it is read is when someone dies. How is this to help, when the guidance comes too late.  The Quran is for the living. The path to understanding and following Islam comes from learning first. How many of us are Muslim, yet have never read the Quran in our native language?
How many of us are Muslim, yet have yet to open a book on hadith or sunnah?
How many of us defend Islam to non-Muslims, but do not follow it ourselves?
May Allah forgive and lead us and all those lost to the straight path.
InshaAllah.
Ameen.
By Huma Ahmad
based on a talk by Abdul Wajid "Born to be Brown", UK

Ruling on using perfume

Q. I read one of the answers which says that it is not permissible for women to wear perfume when going out, because men may smell the perfume and be tempted by it. Doesn't the same ruling apply to men also, because women may be tempted by the perfume that men wear?  My second question is: Is it permissible to pray wearing perfume?
Ans:
Firstly:
It is proven that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance is a zaaniyah(fornicatoress).” Narrated by Imam Ahmad (19212) and al-Nasaa’i (5126); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.
With regard to men, they are not forbidden to do that; rather it is mustahabb for men to use perfume on all occasions, and it is particularly mustahabb on Fridays and Eid, when people gather in mosques and prayer-places and so on. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) loved perfume and used it. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women and perfume have been made clear to me and my delight is in prayer.” Narrated by Ahmad (11885), al-Nasaa’i (3940); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
The difference between women and men is that the basic principle with regard to woman is that she should stay in her house and use her adornment there, so that no temptation will be caused by her and she will not encounter any negative consequences. In the case of men, the man goes out of his house and works, and travels about, and mixes with people in gatherings, marketplaces and so on.
Moreover the temptation of men by women is greater than the temptation of women by men; if a man is attracted by a woman he can pursue her and  try to tempt her; but a woman is usually pursued and is not the pursuer. If it so happens that she is attracted to a man, she would not pursue him, because the shyness and chastity that are part of her inherent nature usually prevent her from pursuing him. Moreover, if she stays in her house and does not go out often and mix with man, that prevents this fitnah or prevents her acting upon it.
Secondly:
With regard to praying with perfume on, if she does that in her house there is nothing wrong with her doing that. But if she is outside her house, it is not permissible for her to put on perfume, whether she is going to the mosque or anywhere else; rather it is narrated that women are specifically forbidden to use perfume when going to the mosque.
It was narrated that Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with her and her husband) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “If one of you (women) wants to go to the mosque, let her not put on perfume.” Narrated by Muslim (443). 
What the Muslim woman should do, if she wants to go to the mosque, is to go out wearing her hijab, not wearing adornment or anything like perfume or anything else that may attract attention or cause fitnah.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from going to the mosques of Allah, but let them go out (ukhrijna) unadorned.” Narrated by Ahmad (9362) and Abu Dawood (565).
Ibn Daqeeq al-Eid (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Also included with perfume is whatever comes under the same heading; perfume is only forbidden because it may provoke men’s desires, and it may also provoke a woman's desire too [i.e., if she uses perfume, her desire may be stirred up].  Whatever could cause a similar effect is also forbidden. It is narrated in a saheeh report that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who scents herself with bukhoor (incense) should not attend ‘Isha’ prayer with us.” To that may be added beautiful clothes and wearing jewellery that can be seen. Some of them interpreted the words of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) in al-Saheeh - “If the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) could see what women have introduced after he died, he would have forbidden them to go to the mosques, as the women of the Children of Israel were forbidden” -- as referring to this, i.e., the introduction of beautiful clothing, perfume and adornment. End quote.
Ihkaam al-Ahkaam Sharh ‘Umdat al-Ahkaam, 1/196. See also: ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood.
And Allah knows best.
Islam Q&A

The Status Of Two Who Love One Another For The Sake Of Allah

Many hadith describe the status of two people who love one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), and describe the high position in Paradise which He has promised them and the great honour which He will bestow upon them on the Day when mankind is resurrected to meet the Rabb of the Worlds: Among them is the hadith which describes the seven whom Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) will shade on the Day when there is no shade but His:
"...a just leader; a youth who grows up worshipping Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala); a man who is deeply attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), meeting for His sake and parting for His sake; a man who is called by a beautiful woman and says, I fear Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala)'; a man who gives charity in secret such that his left hand does not know what his right hand is doing; and a man who remembers Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) when he is alone and his eyes fill with tears." (Bukhari and Muslim)
The two who love one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) are clearly shown to be among those whom Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) will shelter with His shade and upon whom He will shower His mercy and kindness. What a great honour! It is enough honour for those who love one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala that their Almighty Rabb will greet them on the Day of Resurrection and say to them: "Where are those who loved one another for My glory? Today I will shade them in My shade on the Day when there is no shade but Mine." (Muslim)
Such is the magnificent honour and tremendous reward that will be bestowed upon those who truly loved one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), on that awesome Day.
Love for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), and not for the sake of anything else in this life which is filled with greed, desires and interests, is very difficult, and none can attain it except the one who is pure of heart, for whom this world is as nothing compared to the pleasure of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala). It is not surprising that Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) should give them a status and blessing which is commensurate with their position in this world, above whose concerns they have risen. We find proof of this in the hadith of Mu'adh who said that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) said: 'Those who love one another for My glory, will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same." [Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a hasan sahih hadith]
Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) gives to those who love one another for His sake a gift which is even greater than this status and blessing: that is His precious love which is very difficult to attain. This is proven by the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu `anhu) in which the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:
"A man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) sent an angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, 'Where do you intend to go?' He said, 'I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives in this village.' The angel asked, 'Have you done him any favour (for which you are now seeking repayment)?' He said, 'No. I just love him for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala).' The angel told him, I am a messenger to you from Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), sent to tell you that He loves you as you love your brother for His sake."' (Muslim)
What a great love, that raises a man to a position where Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) loves him and is pleased with him!
The teaching of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) goes even further and states that the better of two brothers who love one another for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) is the one who loves his brother more. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:
"No two men love one another, but the better of them is the one whose love for his brother is greater." [Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad]
Islam goes even further in spreading love in the rightly guided Muslim society by telling the Muslim that if he loves his brother, he should tell him. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said:   "If a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him." [Reported by Abu Dawud and al-Tirmidhi, who said it is a sahih hadith]
The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) understood the impact of this strong, pure love in building societies and nations, so he never let any occasion pass without advocating this love and commanding the Muslims to announce their love for one another, in order to open hearts and spread love and purity among the ranks of the Ummah.

Anas (radhiallahu `anhu) said that a man was with the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), when another man passed by. The first man said, "O Messenger of Allah, indeed I truly love this man." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) asked him, "Have you let him know that?" He said, "No." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Tell him." He caught up with him and told him, "Truly I love you for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala)," and the man said, "May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) love you who loves me for His sake." [Reported by Abu Dawud, with a sahih isnad]

Mu'adh began to spread this pure love among the Muslims throughout the Muslim lands, telling them what he had heard from the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) about the great reward that Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) had prepared for those who loved one another for His sake, and about His great love for them. In al-Muwatta', Imam Malik gives a report with a sahih isnad from Abu Idris al-Khulani who said: "I entered the mosque of Damascus, where I saw a young man who had a bright smile, and I saw the people gathered around him. When they disagreed on some matter, they referred it to him, and accepted his opinion. I asked who he was, and they told me, 'This is Mu'adh ibn Jabal (radhiallahu `anhu)." Early the next day, I went to the mosque but I found that he had arrived even earlier than I. He was praying, so I waited until he had finished, then I approached him from in front, greeted him and said, 'By Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) I love you.' He said, 'For the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala)?' I said, 'For the sake of Allah'. He repeated his question, 'For the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala)?' and I said, 'For the sake of Allah.' So he took hold of my collar and pulled me towards him and said, 'I have good news for you. I heard the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) say: "Allah Almighty says: 'My love is granted to those who love one another for My sake, who visit one another for My sake, and who spend on one another for My sake.'"'

Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

The difference between Love and a Haraam Relationship

Question: I am a 24 years old girl. I fell in love, no dates, no meetings involved, pure love to a pure religious person. He promised to marry me and asked me to wait for him as his circumstances are difficult. I do not remember that he called me more than once. I asked him not to call me; because I feel this is wrong, although I love him. I felt that our love started going in the direction, he agreed to this feeling, and respected my opinion. He just sends me E-mails every so often via internet, so that I know his news. We have been in this love relationship for one year. I know this person and his family, and they know us well as well. I love him for Allah’s sake and sure he loves me as well. The problem is that I started receiving proposals, about 8 so far. Every time I refuse because I promised to wait for him. Now I am confused, is what I am doing halal or haram? I pray, Alhamdulillah, all obligatory and optional prayers, and pray qiyaam in the night as well; I fear I lose my good deeds because of what I am doing. Is a pure chaste love haram? Is my love to him halal or haram?.

Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
First of all I ask Allaah to guide you and grant you happiness, and I ask Him to increase the numbers of girls like you who are keen to maintain chastity and purity and adhere to the sacred limits of Allaah in their affairs, among the most important of which are emotional relationships that many people take lightly, so they overstep the mark and transgress the sacred limits of Allaah, and Allaah tests them with problems that we read about and hear of, in which there is a lesson for every Muslim and for every wise person.
You should note that correspondence and contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said: “I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Hence you did well to cut off contact with this young man, and we hope that you will stop corresponding too, because correspondence is one of the greatest doors to corruption that have been opened for people nowadays. This has been discussed in a number of questions.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If love develops for a reason that is not haraam, a person cannot be blamed for that, such as one who loves his wife or his slave woman, then he leaves her but that love remains and does not leave him. He is not to be blamed for that. The same applies if he glances accidentally then looks away, but love may settle in his heart without him wanting it to. But he has to ward it off and look away. End quote.
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 147).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)
Our advice to you is that it is essential to stop corresponding with this young man, and tell him that he has to propose to you through your wali, if he really does want to get married. He should not regard his material circumstances or anything else as a barrier. The matter is simple, in sha Allaah, and if a person is content with little, Allaah will make him independent of means by His grace and bounty. He should at least contact your wali and do the shar’i marriage contract, and if the consummation is delayed there is nothing wrong with that. But if it remains as a promise to get married, ande correspondence continues between you on that basis, this – according to the rulings of sharee’ah and the experience of real life – is a wrong path that opens the door to sin and corruption. You can be certain that you will never find happiness except by obeying Allaah and adhering to the limits set by his sharee’ah. The permissible ways are sufficient and there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
Your delay in getting married is very harmful for you. You are getting older and this young man’s circumstances are not improving; you are not marrying him and you are not marrying anyone else. Beware of delaying, for that will only cause harm. You should realize that one of these men who have proposed marriage may be more religiously committed and righteous than that young man, and there may be far greater love with him than there is between you and that young man.
And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on Masturbation and How to Cure the Problem

Question:
I have a question which I am shy to ask but another sister who has come to Islam recently wants an answer to and I do not have an answer (with dalils(proof) from the Qur'an and Sunnah). I hope you can help and I hope Allah will for give me if it is inappropriate but as Muslims we should never be shy in seeking knowledge. Her question was "Is it permissible in Islam to masturbate?". May Allah increase us all in knowledge.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:
First from the Qur’aan:
Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):
"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7
Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.
"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.
Secondly, from the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):
Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said,"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.
There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct.
As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:
1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.
2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.
3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31
Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).
5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshiping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.
6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.
7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.
8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.
9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.
10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).
11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth: "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.
12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.
13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.
Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Shaykh Sa’d al-Humayd
Jazak Allah Khair for reading

Ruling on taking boyfriends or girlfriends

Question: I am deeply in love with a Muslim man and want to marry him. I know that Allah forbids girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, and feel very sorry in my heart for our relationship. I feel that because we have been in this relationship which is abhorred by Allah, he will never marry me because he has lost respect for me. What does the Quran say about this?

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25]
In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.  Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘al-musaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.

’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. They said:  (it means) lovers. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’”

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’).  Just as Allaah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zinaa, so it is also imposed on men.  The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musaafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come to them (for immoral purposes).  Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdaan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Soorat al-Nisaa’.  (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same.

 For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]

Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah.  There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s.  Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah.  He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’  She said: ‘Welcome! Stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allaah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ … I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah
 
‘Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [al-Noor 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed.

Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:  ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’”

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 3101; he said: it is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth).
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Maghfal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam).  A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her.  She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation).  Allaah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.”  So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face.  He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened.  The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allaah wishes good. When Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Haakim, 1/349, who said this hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 308).

These aayaat and ahaadeeth clearly indicate that it is haraam (forbidden) for men to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram women (women to whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married).

The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life.  A similar question has been asked under #2085.  We ask Allaah to keep us far away from that which is forbidden, to protect us from all that may earn His wrath and to keep us safe from a painful punishment. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

How can I advise someone who is addicted to pornography?

How can I advise someone who is addicted to pornography?

I have a friend who uses the internet and goes to pornographic websites. What is the shar’i ruling on that, and how can I help him to keep away from such things?.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible to look at pornographic pictures that show the charms of women, either on internet web sites or in newspapers or magazines etc. That is because looking at them is a means of enjoying them and knowing the beauty of the woman in the picture.
This may also be a means that leads to something haraam, so it is also regarded as haraam, because the means come under the same rulings as the ends.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 2424.
Many people take the matter of looking at pictures of non-mahram women lightly, on the grounds that these are just pictures and are not real. But this is a very serious matter, because it inevitably tempts a man to try to look at the woman directly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them"
[al-Noor 24:30]
Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 1/268
You can help your friend to keep away from these things by always advising him and making him fear Allaah, and reminding him that Allaah is always watching him and that nothing is hidden from Him. And remind him of the blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon him, such as giving him eyes with which to see things that will benefit him, and He has forbidden him to use them to look at things that He has forbidden. Remind him that Allaah will question him about that, hence Allaah concludes the verse referred to above with the words (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart of each of those ones will be questioned (by Allaah)”
[al-Isra’ 17:36]
If a wise man thinks about it, when he is looking at these haraam pictures, he will realize that there is nothing behind these glances but loss, pain and sorrow, because he cannot really get what he sees in these pictures.
The poet spoke the truth when he said:
“When you give free rein to your eyes, this will cause great pain to your heart.
You will see what you cannot have, and you will feel frustration because you do not have some of what you see.”
So it is clear that there is nothing to be gained from these pictures except the wrath of Allaah, and wasting time and money on things that are not pleasing to Him, and tormenting yourself.
The Muslim has to seek chastity by means of marriage, and try his best to achieve that.
He should also give up bad company who may have a bad effect on him and encourage him to go to these bad web sites.
He should also keep himself busy with things that will benefit him in both religious and worldly terms, such as memorizing the Book of Allaah, attending gatherings of dhikr, and going to useful websites that contain sound knowledge.

Problems of the Present Day Youth

There are various reasons for youth's corruption and their problems.
Youths go through many rapid physical, mental and intellectual developments. Hence there is a great need for providing them with the means of self-control and curbing of their defiance as well as wise leadership that can lead them to the straight path.
The corruption of youth can be attributed to many factors, prominent among them are:

1. Joblessness:
Joblessness is a disease that kills mental, intellectual and physical capabilities. As a matter of fact, it is inevitable that human beings work; and if they are deprived of work and movement, the brain becomes beset, their intellect exhausted, and the mind becomes weak as devilish insinuations and malicious thoughts take control of their hearts.
Evil and wicked intentions may occur to them as a result of the depression that usually results from being jobless.
In order to be cured of this disease, the affected youths should get involved in activities that suit them like reading, writing, trading or any other activities that can stand between them and joblessness and which is capable of making them sound and useful members of the community.

2. Estrangement between youths and elders:
This problem appears in a situation where some elders see corruption in their youths and just stand aloof without making any effort to correct them, having lost hope in their reform.
This problem however can be solved if elders and youths endeavor to remove the estrangement and alienation between them. Both should bear in mind that society - with its youths and elders - is like a single body, and if a part of it decays, the decadence will affect the whole body. Elders also are requested to feel the sense of responsibility towards their youths and remove their attitude regarding the hopelessness of youths' piety because Allaah is capable of doing everything.
For, how often a person straying afar has been guided by Allaah and thereafter became a torch of guidance and a reformer.
Youths on their part, should hold their elders in high esteem. They should respect their views and accept their directives because they have achieved greater wisdom and experience than youths have achieved. Therefore, when elders' wisdom is added to youths' energy, the society becomes prosperous by the will of Allaah.

3. Keeping company with corrupted people:
Bad company has much psychological, mental and moral influence on the youth. That is why the Prophet said: "is on the religion of his intimate friend (i.e. influenced by him), so let every one of you look critically for whom to befriend." [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]
Therefore, the youth should choose righteous, good and intelligent persons as their companions in order to benefit from their goodness, righteousness and intelligence. Before befriending them, they should study their conditions and reputations. If those who are being considered are people of noble character, upright, religious and of good reputation, they are like objects of a long cherished wish and become as acquired booty. They should therefore stick to them.
If, on the other hand, people of bad character, must be dealt with cautiously, then they should be kept at a distance and not taken as companions because of their sweet-talk and fine outward appearance.

4. Reading of destructive books, magazines, newspapers, etc:
This type of literature has the great potential to mislead one from his religion, faith, and lead one away from excellent morality to the abyss of degeneration which naturally leads to ‘kufr’ (disbelief).
Also, reading of this kind of literature turns the youths aside from spiritual growth because it impedes his natural inclination to do good.
The solution to this problem is to immediately shift from reading such literature to material that inculcate the love of Allaah and His Prophet in one's heart and other items (tapes, tracts etc.) that help in actualizing faith and virtuous deeds. They should patiently endure reading or listening to such material because the soul will challenge them in order to coerce them into paying attention to what they were accustomed to before and will make them feel bored and irritated by useful books and positive sources.
There are also many books that can enhance spiritual growth and practice, such as the Quran, authentic ‘Hadeeths’, and numerous writings of scholars (based on the Quran and ‘Hadeeth’) on the life of the Prophet his companions and heroic figures in Islamic history.

12 Tips for Young Muslim Youth

Why should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends closer to Allâh?
After all, you've got your own struggles to deal with: trying to explain to hostile teachers why you pray, Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islâm, dealing with parents who think you've gone nuts because you're growing a beard, or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?
Islâm was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for the "chosen few". Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen; and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or leaders, have a crucial role to play.
"Allâh has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in," notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada.
"They have the means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what they're going through plus they have the guidance of Islâm."
Who is your childhood friend going to listen to? Who is your childhood friend, who would rather spend Fridays at MacDonald's than the Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows that "Muslims don't eat pork" going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them, joked with them, or see them everyday in school?
The answer is obvious: You.
Don't panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help. These are advices from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and done that:
Tip # 1 : Make Your Intention Sincere
All work we do should ideally be for the sake of Allâh. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to Allâh. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking you're the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you've embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allâh. Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allâh.
Tip # 2 : Practice What You Preach
Not practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out. Don't do it.
Tip # 3 : Use The Qur'ân, Seerah of the Prophet and Ahlulbait (peace be upon them)

As TABLIGH Guides Read and understand those chapters of the Qur'ân which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of Islâm to their people. Read the Seerah to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad and Ahlulbait peace and blessings be upon them) brought Islâm to so many different people, including young people.
As well, talk to Tabligh workers, and check out manuals they may have written, like Yahiya Emerick's How to Tell Others About Islâm.
Tip # 4 : Talk To People As If You Really Don't Know Them
Don't assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don't know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the school's hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks, is not someone you can talk to about Allâh because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you've never seen at Juma at your university is a "bad Muslim". Maybe he was never really taught Islâm and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in Islâm, especially for Muslim men.
Tip # 5 : Smile
Did you know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many "practicing" Muslims seem to have "their faces on upside down" as one speaker once said-frowning and serious. Smiling, being polite and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others with Islâm, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is key to this.
But note that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islâmic rules for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected. Tabligh is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in Islâm is referred to someone of the same sex.
Tip # 6 : Take The Initiative & Hang Out With Them
Take the first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftaar in Ramadan.
Also, share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.
Tip # 7 : Show Them Islâm Is Relevant Today, Right Here, Right Now
Young people may think Islâm is too "old fashioned" and not in tune with the modern age.
Prove this wrong. Show how Islâm is really about relating to Allâh, which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allâh is always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allâh's help during tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings. Also point out how Islâm relates to teenagers: Islâm gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of "teen culture" does not.
Tip # 8 : Get Them Involved In Volunteer Work With You

If you are already involved in the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group's events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.
Tip # 9 : Ask Them 4 Fundamental Questions
As your friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. We recommends four questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allâh and Islâm:
a. Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?
Tip # 10 : Emphasize Praying 5 Times A Day Before Any Other Aspect Of Islâm
A person's main connection with Allâh, on a daily basis, is through the prayer five times a day. Don't emphasize any other aspect of Islâm until your friend starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one has with Allâh in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell them to pray, and to ask Allâh for help in Salah and outside this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together during your "hang out time". If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other aspects of Islâm like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islâmically.
Tip # 11 : Help Instill Confidence In Adults
Adults, like Bart Simpson's dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of "teen culture". Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables on this false and un-Islâmic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good (i.e. saving someone's life, donating money to a worthy cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend's perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more respectful way.
Tip # 12 : Support Them Even When They Become More Practicing

Remember, just because a person starts practicing Islâm more regularly, this does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about his or her new found practice of Islâm. Be there to reassure them.

Dua’a For Exams

اللهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلا مَا جَعَلتَهُ سَهْلا وَ أنتَ تَجْعَلُ الحزْنَ إذا شِئْتَ سَهْلا
Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja’altahu sahla, wa ‘anta taj-alul hazna idha shi’ta sahla
Meaning: "O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will."
Allahumma inii as'aluka fahmal-nabiyyen wa hifthal mursaleen al-muqarrabeen.
O Allah! I ask You for the understanding of the prophets and the memory of  the messengers, and those nearest to You.
Allahumma ijal leesanee 'amiran bi thikrika wa qalbi bi khashyatika.
O Allah! Make my tongue full of Your remembrance, and my heart with consciousness of You.
Innaka 'ala ma-tasha'-u qadeer wa anta hasbun-allahu wa na'mal wakeel.
(O Allah!) You do whatever You wish, and You are my Availer and Protector and the best of aid.

Dua After Studying:

Allahhumma inni astaodeeuka ma qara'tu wama hafaz-tu. Faradduhu 'allaya inda hagati elayhi.Innaka 'ala ma-tasha'-u qadeer wa anta hasbeeya wa na'mal wakeel.
O Allah! I entrust You with what I have read and I have studied. (O Allah!) Bring it back to me when I am in need of it.
(O Allah!) You do whatever You wish, and You are my Availer and Protector and the best of aid.

Dua While Studying Something Difficult:

Allahumma la sahla illama ja-'altahu sahla wa anta taj 'alu al hazana etha shi'ta sahla.
O Allah! Nothing is easy except what You have made easy. If You wish, You can make the difficult easy.
There are ahaadeeth which indicate that this is to be said at times of hardship and difficulty. All of that includes exams and other difficulties.
1 – It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever says – when leaving his house – Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, there is no power and no strength except with Allaah), it will be said to him: You are taken care of and you are protected, and the Shaytaan will keep away from him.”
2 – It was also narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: If something upset him, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say: “Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever Living, O Sustainer, by Your mercy I seek help).”
3 – It was also narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O Allaah, nothing is easy but that which You make easy and You can make hardship easy if You will.”
4 – It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The prayer of Dhu’l-Noon when he was in the belly of the fish: ‘Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (There is no god but You, glory to You, verily I was one of the wrongdoers).’ A Muslim never calls upon his Lord with these words concerning any matter, but his prayer is answered.”
References for the above:
[1]Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5095; al-Tirmidhi, 3426; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
[2]Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3524; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 3182.
[3]Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 3/255; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 2886.
[4]Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3505; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1644.


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Islam on Pornography: A Definite No NO

By Abdul Malik Mujahid

Every Friday we hear the Imam conclude his sermon by reciting the following verse of the Quran:

"Surely God enjoins justice, kindness and the doing of good, to kith and kin; and He forbids all that is shameful, indecent, evil, rebellious and oppressive." InnaAllah Yamuru bil adel, wal ehsane, wa itae zil qurba; wa yanha anil fuhshae, wal munkari walbaghi; yaizukhum lallakum tazakkaroon. (Quran 16:90)

Pornography and the culture of pornography has all the three elements which God has prohibited in the above verse of the Quran: Fuhsha; Munkar, baghi. Here is a bit of terminology before we review the rest of the evidence prohibiting pornography.

Fuhsha:

According to the Al-Mawrid Arabic-English dictionary of Munir Baalbaki, Fuhash is obscenity, vulgarity, indecency, shamelessness and something that is dirty, filthy and foul. Al-Mawrid's English-Arabic dictionary translates pornographic as Fahish. The Hans Wehr Dictionary Of Modern Written Arabic adds monstrosity, abomination, vile deed and fornication to its meaning as well.
Fuhsha, translated as anything shameful, is a Quranic term which in the Quran and Hadith has been used widely for unIslamic sexual behavior. The Quran uses it as in the above verse (Quran 16:90). It is a set of vices that embraces the whole range of evil and shameful deeds. Scholars of the Quran have included every vice which is intrinsically of a highly reprehensible character into this category whether it be fornication, nudity, public foreplay as depicted in films and photos, pornography, hurling abuses and curse words, promiscuous mixing, or dresses designed to expose the body. At the highest level of Fuhsha, Allah has included adultery (Quran 17:32) and same gender sex (Quran 7:80; 27:54).
All scholars agree pornography is included in the term Fuhsha.

Al-Munkar

Al-Mawrid English - Arabic Dictionary describes Munkar as gross, abominable, detestable, atrocious, outrageous, flagrant.
As a major Quranic term it means something which is universally acknowledged as bad and immoral. This category includes all evils which have been unanimously condemned by the human conscience and which have been forbidden by Divine Law in all ages.
People of all faiths abhor pornography. Even the norms of American society do not allow its propagation in mainstream newspapers and prime time TV, forcing it to hide in dark alleys. Those who are addicted to pornography try to watch it mostly discreetly. This indicates that it is a universally accepted immoral act which Quran calls al-Munkar.
Al-Baghi
According to Al-Mawrid English - Arabic dictionary, this term means wrong, injustice, outrage, and transgression.
Al-Baghi in the Quranic terminology means transgression and trespassing into the space and the rights of others, whether those rights be of God or of a fellow human being. Pornography is a transgression towards God as well as towards human beings and animals. The pornographic industry trespasses on the rights of women especially by turning them into sex objects. Pornographic emails trespass the private email boxes of Americans at least four times a day.
God is Against Pornography (Fuhsha) whether Open or Hidden
"Tell them (O Muhammad): 'My Lord has only forbidden indecent acts, whether overt or hiddenÉ"
innama haram rabbial fawahisha ma zahar aminha wma batan.. (Quran 7:33).
Therefore, watching pornography or other indecent acts in the privacy of the home or on the internet is also forbidden.
Allah Asks Us Not to Even Go Close to It
"Say to them (O Muhammad!) Édo not even draw near to things shameful–be they open or secret;É " (Quran 6:151 partial)
Éwa la taqrabul fawahisha ma zahara minha wa ma batanÉ
Allah has mentioned this instruction along with shirk and murder which means that Allah considered shameful things like pornography among the major sins.
Allah knows best. He knows His creation. He knows that we are weak. Therefore, He likes us to stay away from shameful things.
Those who Propagate Shameful things among the Believers
"Verily those who love that indecency should spread among the believers deserve a painful chastisement in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah knows, but you do not know." Quran 24:19
Innal lazeena yuhibbuna an tasheeal fahishatu fillazeena amanou lahum azabun aleemun fid dunya wal akhirate, wallahu yalamu wa antum la talamoon.
The words used in the verse (fahishatu) embrace all the various forms that might be used to spread shameful and lewd behavior though any means be it pictures, films, or internet.
Don't follow Satan
At several places in the Quran, God warns us not to follow the steps of Satan: "He will incite you for shameful things (fuhsha) and encourage you to do universally accepted wrong things (al-munkar) Quran 24:21
Restrain Your Gaze & Guard Your Private Parts
"Enjoin believing men to restrain their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is well aware of all what they do.
And enjoin believing women to restrain their gaze and guard their private parts and additionally not to reveal their adornment except that which is revealed of itself." Quran 24:30-31
Sayings of the Prophet: Hadith
No man or woman should look at the naked body of each other (unless married). Sahih Muslim
By God, I would prefer to be thrown from the skies and spatterred in parts than to look at someone's private parts or let someone look at my private parts. Narrated by Salman. Almabsooth kitabul istehsan.
Don't expose your thigh to anyone and don't look at the thigh of any person even if s/he is dead. Narrated Ali ibn abi Talib. Ibn e Maja, Abi Dawud, Darqutani. Tafseer Kabeer
Once someone's thigh was open in public. The Prophet said don't you know thigh is supposed to be kept covered? Jerhad Aslami. Muatta Imam Malik, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud
Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it. Abu Hurairah. Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud.
Other Scholarly Perspectives
"It's absolutely Haram," notes Shaykh Muhammad Nur Abdullah. He is the Imam of the Islamic Foundation of Greater St. Louis in Missouri.
"If someone is looking at someone committing Zina (sex outside of marriage) whether it is in movies or pictures or the actual thing, it's all Haram," he adds.
"Pornographic pictures and movies are haram (prohibited). Muslims should not watch, sell or make such movies. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said: 'The eyes commit adultery, the tongue commits adultery, the hands commit adultery, the feet commit adultery and then the private parts confirm it or deny it." (Reported by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal)
"This means that watching pornographic movies, listening to such songs or singing them, using one's hands and feet for this purpose, all these are sins that are related to Zina and then the final act of Zina takes place through haram intercourse." Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Logging in and browsing pornographic sites is forbidden because a Muslim is always commanded to lower his/her gaze, let alone give a loose rein to his/her É eyes to look at the private parts of others.
May Allah keep us all safe spiritually and physically.

29 Tips for Teens on How To Handle Pornography

Tip #1: Know what's Halal and what's not

Remember this rule of thumb: whatever is Haram (forbidden) to do, is Haram to watch.
All scholars of Islam agree that pornography is absolutely Haram and a clear sin.
Some may think, however, that only hard-core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true. Watching improperly dressed men and women in sexual situations, as well as engaged in various types of foreplay and dirty jokes are also not acceptable.

Tip #2: Surf the Web or Watch T.V. When Others are Around

The living room or study room are better places to keep the computer since others are nearby and can see what you're looking at. The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you're alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and surfing. Instead, check out the tube or the web when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one's watching.
It is a good idea not to have a TV or computer in the bedroom anyway.

Tip #3: Remember Allah is Watching You

If no one is watching, Allah is watching you. He is always there. He is Al Baseer, All Knowing and All Aware. He is the One Who has given us life. He is the One Who has told us right from wrong and given us a choice. He loves to see us successful in our test to bless us with the Everlasting life. He does not rest or sleep. He loves to see us do good and has promised rewards for it.

Tip #4: If It Happens, Seek Forgiveness & Don't Insist on doing it

"É[Good people are those who] when they have committed a shameful deed (fuhsha) or have harmed themselves, remember God and pray that their sins be forgiven-for who but God could forgive sins?-and do not knowingly persist in doing whatever wrong they may have done." (Quran 3:135).
Allah loves to see us asking for His forgiveness.

Tip #5: Just get up and leave

If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is or where you've been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.

Tip #6: Remember the Day of Judgment

You cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. God is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us for the good and holds us responsible for the bad we do. His angels are around you who love to note down each good dead and hate to watch you do shameful things which they still must report. Every tiny act we do is noted down. May Allah make our accounting on the Day of Judgment easy.

Tip #7: Connect With Your Salat

If you are not praying, start now. Salat actively discourages pornography and fornication (fuhsha). Here is what Allah says about it: "É and be constant in prayer: for, behold, prayer restrains man from loathsome deeds and from all that runs counter to decency; and remembrance of God is indeed the greatest [good]. And God knows all that you do." (Quran 29:45)

Tip #8: Learn About Haya in Islam

Haya is a beautiful concept in Islam. Sometimes translated as modesty or shame, there is no one word in English that fully describes what it means. It is a quality in character that makes a believer shine. Satan does not want you to have it. Pornography destroys Haya.

Tip #9: Avoid those involved in pornography

If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him/her change through gentle and sincere advice (see etiquettes of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil) or abandon frequent contact with them. Their addiction might affect you, so it's best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself and your relationship with God.

Tip #10: Avoid things that lead to sin

Too often, it's easy to dismiss that billboard with the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it, remember the omnipresent God, and lower your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing this, it'll become a habit to avoid looking at these things.
Remember God is kind. An unintentional look is not Haram if you turn away as soon as you realize it.

Tip #11: Develop a More Productive Schedule

Learn to manage your time more productively. Develop a personal plan for yourself. If you don't occupy your mind with good works, Satan will think of something bad for you. Think of wal Asr, Innal insane lafi khusr.. (Quran 103)

Tip #12: Are You Involved?

Surround yourself with spiritual influences. Join a study circle, volunteer for a good cause, become active in a Muslim youth group like MYNA or your Muslim Students' Association. Good company is likely to have good influence on you. The involvement will also make good use of your time, sparing little for Satan.

Tip #13: Feeling overwhelmed? Remember Allah

In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can't get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah's help. You don't necessarily need any heavy duty, long prayers. Just say La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (there is neither power nor strength except with God). It is short, simple and reminds you of Who is really in control and can help you out of this. Or if you cannot remember this, just move away saying Allah, Allah. Or bring any popular song about Allah to your lips.

Tip #14: Less TV is better

Although actors in a TV program may be "dressed," if the show is about playing sexual games in public, is it worth watching? Less TV is always better. One of my American friends calls it the 19-inch Satan in our living rooms. She would rather not have it at all. A few broadcast channels are better than cable or satellite. Watching together as family is better than watching alone. Choosing through a TV guide what to watch is better than  channel surfing.

Tip #15: Satan is the Enemy: Seek refuge in God

Satan lured you into this mess. He is the big part of our tests in this life. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material.

Tip #16: Remember others will Follow You

If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you're setting for them. What message are you sending them if they barge into your room and catch you watching Temptation Island or flipping through Playboy magazine?

Tip #17: Look for alternative entertainment

Playing sports is better for your health than watching. We have become way too dependent on electronic entertainment. It is unhealthy and leading our nation to obesity and health problems. Let's stop being couch potatoes. Let's build our bodies through sports and outdoor activities.

Tip #18: Surround yourself with the Quran

Make the Quran a part of your bedroom decor. Put paintings of your personal selection of these beautiful verses from God. Maybe commission a calligrapher to scribe your favorite verses in Arabic and English. I had one drawn with pencil and it sits in front of my desk. One of my daughters asked me to write one for her and she hung it up in front of her laptop.
How many copies and translations of the Quran do you own? Buy more. Become a collector.
If you are into listening the Quran on audio, keep changing your reciter of the Quran. It breaks the monotony and brings focus back to the words of God.

Tip #19: Remember your Mom and sister

Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way pornographic magazines and websites depict women. Remember your mom and your sister, and that may help you stop.

Tip #20: Have someone watch over you

If you really feel you're becoming addicted to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don't have to tell them why you're doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Satan tempts us most easily when we're alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or trusted friend will help.

Tip #21: Fasting helps

The Prophet Muhammad advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon the Prophet.

Tip #22: Life is full of tests

We human beings are weak people. We sometimes make mistakes. We are not perfect. When you fail, don't despair. You can get away from sin by defeating a Satanic suggestion the next time around. Sometimes we don't mean to watch but end up doing it anyway. But as soon as a thought comes to your mind that you are doing wrong, stop right there. If you persist, that will be become a sin which you have chosen intentionally.
Don't feel guilty if you did not plan to watch it. Sometimes the web and email technology force this filth on you. Just move away as fast as you can.

Tip #23: Get Married

Yes. You heard me right. Get married. The real thing is better than the fakeness of pornography which destroys you mentally, physically, and spiritually. In Muslim families, we see many younger people getting married while they are still in school. Texas law allows persons as young as 13 to get married with parental consent and a judge's order. Other states require at least 16 years of age for a marriage license. Talk to your parents. I am personally against very young people marrying, but it is certainly better than them having sinful relationships with each other or with the fictional characters brought to them through the web, magazines and films. There is no shame in talking to your parents and Imams about it. Make a decision with Shura if you want to get married early.
Marriage helps you overcome the destructive directions of a blessing of God called sex.

Tip #24: Use technology to help

There are many filters and spam stopping technologies which are available through different internet providers as well as for your email client. Use technology to close doors for pornography, a heinous crime against humanity.

Tip #25: It is not a Sin if you did not mean it

Sometimes we are just surfing the internet and something else pops up. It may show up in emails despite all the filters. As long as you did not mean to watch and move away immediately it is not a sin. Thank God, Alhamdu lillah. He does not hold us accountable for unintentional things.

Tip #26: Do Tauba, Repent and Return to Allah

He loves to see us come back. If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deeds to compensate for what you've done. He is All-Forgiving as long as you are sincere.

Tip #27: Repent Again and Fine Yourself

If you lapse, repent again. God is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising that if you do it again, you will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.
The message is: don't give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Satan can get you down, but you can and will beat him with God's help if you are serious about changing.

Tip #28: Pray, Pray and Pray

Never underestimate the power of prayer. Dua is the essence of worship. You connect to God through prayers. Talk to Him. He listens. While there, pray for this author and Sound Vision as well.

Tip #29: Fight Against Pornography

You will be blessed in your struggle if you speak and fight against pornography. It is not one person's problem. It is a problem that is hurting many people.